Building Confidence through Action: How Taking Small Steps Can Bolster Self-Confidence and Self-Esteem
The Turning Point That Changed My Life
I worked as a young teacher in my twenties and was invited to a summer camp in Hungary. My task? To present the history of the Roma people—their migration from India to Europe—to Roma children, their teachers, and camp organizers. While the opportunity to earn extra income during the summer break excited me, the thought of public speaking left me trembling with anxiety.
The result? My nerves were so visible that after the presentation, a child asked, “Why were you so nervous?” That question became a wake-up call. It forced me to confront my self-doubt and choose: let fear control me or take action to grow.
I chose action. I dove into research on confidence-building strategies, including Silva’s Mind Control—a method that taught me to visualize success and reframe fear. Over time, I learned that confidence isn’t something you’re born with. It’s a skill you build, one small step at a time.
Why Tiny Wins Matter
Confidence grows through small, consistent actions. These “tiny wins” stretch your comfort zone and create momentum. Here’s how to start:
- Set Micro-Goals: Break big challenges into bite-sized tasks. For example:
- Practice a 30-second introduction in front of a mirror.
- Record yourself speaking for one minute and review it.
- Daily Affirmations: Repeat phrases like “I am capable” or “I grow stronger every day.” These rewire your mindset over time.
- Celebrate Progress: Did you speak up in a meeting or strike up a conversation? Acknowledge it! Small wins build confidence.
My Experience at IT Conventions:
Later, as an IT developer for United Airlines, I attended conferences filled with experts. At first, I stayed silent, intimidated by their expertise. But I pushed myself to start small: introducing myself to just one person during a coffee break. That tiny step gave me courage to engage more openly, proving that even small actions lead to big changes.
From Nervous Speaker to Confident Teacher: My Strategies
Public speaking once paralyzed me. Here’s how I transformed fear into confidence:
1. Visualization Techniques
Before teachers’ meetings, I used Silva’s Mind Control to mentally rehearse success. I’d close my eyes and imagine speaking clearly, seeing nods of agreement from colleagues. This practice calmed my nerves and prepared my mind.
Speaking of nerves, there’s something I wholeheartedly relate to in Jerry Seinfeld’s stand-up routine—he humorously pointed out that many people fear public speaking so much that they’d rather be the person in the coffin than the one giving the eulogy. At this point in my journey, after years of studying techniques that reinforce confidence, I can confidently say that I’d rather deliver the eulogy! It’s a classic observation that underscores the absurdity of our fears, reminding us how powerful our anxieties can be.
2. Structured Practice
- Prepare Thoroughly: Outline key points and rehearse them aloud.
- Use a Mirror: Observe your posture and facial expressions to project calm.
- Reframe Nervousness: I stopped seeing shaky hands as fear and instead thought, “This energy means I care.”
3. Start Small
I began by speaking up in small group settings before tackling larger audiences. Each success built my confidence.
How to Feel Comfortable in Any Situation
Confidence isn’t about perfection—it’s about embracing your authenticity. Try these tips:
- Power Poses: Stand tall with hands on hips for two minutes before a stressful event. Research shows this boosts confidence.
- Focus on Others: Instead of worrying, “What do they think of me?” ask, “How can I help them?” This shifts your mindset from self-doubt to service.
- Own Imperfections: A stumble during a speech? Smile and keep going. People connect with realness, not perfection.
My Post-Retirement Journey:
After retiring in Hawaii, I launched stefanmotz.com to share mindfulness and positivity. Despite no social media experience, I started creating short video summaries of my articles. Though daunting at first, this small step helped me connect with others and grow more confident in sharing my voice.
Daily Habits to Build Lasting Confidence
Confidence is a daily practice. Try these habits:
- Gratitude Journaling: Write three things you’re grateful for each night. This fosters a positive mindset.
- Seek Feedback: Ask a trusted friend, “What’s one thing I can improve?” Growth requires honest reflection.
- Step Outside Your Comfort Zone: Take one small risk daily—like chatting with a stranger or volunteering for a simple task.
My Journaling Routine:
Using the Day One app, I journal nightly. Adding photos and reflections helps me track progress and celebrate growth, reinforcing my confidence over time.
You’ve Got This—Start Small
Confidence isn’t magic—it’s a skill built through action. My journey from anxious teacher to confident speaker wasn’t quick, but small steps like visualization, practice, and embracing imperfection made all the difference.
Whether you’re tackling public speaking, socializing, or simply wanting to feel at ease, remember: progress happens one tiny win at a time.
Keep taking those small steps. You’ll surprise yourself with how far they take you.