Love and Will

Rollo May’s "Love and Will" is a deep, sometimes dense, but always compelling look at two of the most misunderstood forces shaping our lives: love and will. Published in 1969, it’s no dusty relic; it’s a candid, sometimes blunt exploration of what happens when these two powerful drives get out of sync—or worse, disappear altogether.

May kicks off with a stark observation: modern Western culture, with its obsession on convenience and detachment from traditional values, has left many of us numb, alienated, and wandering without purpose. We’re swimming in a sea of apathy, where both love and will have been commodified or diluted into something less meaningful. It’s not a cheerful diagnosis, but it’s refreshingly honest.

At the heart of the book is May’s argument that love and will are inseparable. Neither works well alone. Love without will is a fuzzy, sentimental mess—think of empty declarations or infatuations that fizzle out. Will without love is cold, rigid, and often destructive—a power trip that’s blind to others. Together, they form the backbone of true human connection and personal growth.

May introduces the idea of the "daimonic," a term borrowed from ancient philosophy, to describe the raw, often chaotic energy inside us that drives creativity, passion, and sometimes destruction. This isn’t some mystical mumbo jumbo; it’s the messy, unpredictable force that, when embraced and integrated, can lead to profound transformation. Ignoring or suppressing this daimonic energy usually ends badly, either in self-destruction or emotional numbness.

Another key idea is "intentionality," which boils down to the ability to focus your will toward meaningful goals rather than drifting aimlessly or being a slave to external pressures. May stresses that care—genuine concern and attention—is the antidote to apathy, which he sees as a major modern malaise. Care requires effort and vulnerability, but it’s what breathes life into both love and will.

May doesn’t just theorize; he draws from his clinical experience and existential philosophy to show how the breakdown of shared myths and values in society has left people untethered. The rise of superficial relationships, the commodification of sex, and the epidemic of apathy aren’t just social trends—they’re symptoms of a deeper spiritual and psychological crisis.

The book’s strength lies in its blend of philosophy, psychology, and real-world observation. May isn’t handing out easy answers or feel-good slogans. Instead, he invites readers to confront the uncomfortable truth that living authentically means wrestling with inner contradictions and embracing both love and will, flaws and all.

That said, May’s style can be a slog. His prose sometimes veers into abstract territory, which might frustrate readers looking for straightforward advice or quick fixes. Also, some ideas reflect the cultural context of the late 1960s and might feel a bit dated or idealistic today.

In the end, "Love and Will" is for anyone tired of the usual pop-psychology fluff and ready to face the real work of being human. It challenges you to rethink how you engage with love, how you summon your will, and how these forces shape not just your life but the society around you.