Noticing: How We Attend to the World and Each Other by Ziyad Marar — Summary & Review

Noticing is one of those everyday things we take for granted until it trips us up. Ziyad Marar, with his background in psychology and philosophy, takes on the surprisingly complex act of paying attention in his 2025 book, “Noticing: How We Attend to the World and Each Other.” This isn’t a dry academic romp. Instead, Marar serves up a warm, thoughtful exploration of how our brains pick and choose what to see, hear, and feel—and what that means for our relationships and sense of meaning.

At the heart of the book is a simple but powerful question: why do we sometimes fail to notice what’s right in front of us? Marar leans on classic psychological research, like the infamous “invisible gorilla” experiment, to show how our attention is selective, often blind to even glaring details when we’re focused elsewhere. It’s not just about distraction by smartphones or noise; it’s wired into how our minds filter reality.

But Marar doesn’t stop at the science. He pulls in philosophy and literature to deepen the picture. Think Nabokov’s obsession with the small details of experience or Eliot’s reflections on perception. These artistic perspectives remind us that noticing isn’t just a brain trick; it’s a way of engaging with the world that shapes our meaning and connection.

One of the book’s strengths is how it connects noticing to human relationships. We all know the awkwardness of being ignored or the pain of feeling invisible. Marar argues that how we attend to others—really see them—can make or break intimacy and empathy. Noticing is an ethical act, a commitment to being present and responsible in our social lives.

But let’s be honest: mindfulness and paying attention have become buzzwords, often shoved down our throats as quick fixes for life’s chaos. Marar is refreshingly skeptical about simplistic advice. He acknowledges that attention is fragile and easily hijacked by modern distractions, but he also offers practical insights on cultivating awareness without turning it into a chore or another source of guilt.

The book’s interdisciplinary approach is a double-edged sword. On the plus side, it offers a rich, layered understanding of attention, blending hard science with the humanities. On the downside, some readers might find the jumps between psychology, philosophy, and literature a bit much, especially if they aren’t used to juggling ideas from different fields. Also, while Marar sprinkles in practical tips, the book isn’t a step-by-step manual for mindfulness. It’s more about shifting how you think about noticing.

Marar’s writing is accessible and engaging, never slipping into jargon or academic stiffness. He’s not selling you a miracle cure for inattentiveness but inviting you to reconsider what it means to truly see and be seen. If you’re tired of the usual self-help spiel and want a thoughtful, no-nonsense look at attention’s role in our messy, distracted lives, this book has something to offer.

Ultimately, “Noticing” is a reminder that our experience of the world—and each other—is shaped by what we choose (or fail) to pay attention to. It’s an invitation to slow down, look closer, and maybe catch the invisible gorilla next time it strolls by.