A Globusz Books discovery
Mazze K. Gray · English
Ever tried to figure out what a crush is supposed to feel like when your culture, your family expectations, and your own heart all seem to be speaking different languages? Meet Leila — a high school junior who’s juggling Iranian-American identity, emerging queer feelings, and the chaos of teenage crushes. Spoiler: it’s messy, awkward, and painfully real.
Globusz original summary
“Tell Me Again How a Crush Should Feel” is not your typical YA romance. It’s a quietly fierce dive into what it means to wrestle with identity when your background doesn’t exactly hand you a playbook for love — especially queer love. Leila, our protagonist, is an Iranian-American teenager who has so far managed to dodge the whole dating scene, partly because her culture’s expectations and her own fears have built a pretty tall wall around her heart. Then Saskia shows up: new, intriguing, and everything Leila’s been too cautious to explore.
Leila’s world is a balancing act on a tightrope strung between family traditions, cultural pressures, and the messy, unpredictable feelings that come with first crushes — or maybe something more. The novel doesn’t rush to label her emotions or force neat conclusions. Instead, it lets the awkwardness and uncertainty breathe, which feels like a relief in a genre that often wants to wrap everything up with a bow.
The characters around Leila are just as important as she is. Lisa, her close friend, provides the much-needed grounding force, a reminder that support can come from unexpected places. Tomas, another student, brings his own candid perspective on sexuality, showing that identity isn’t a one-size-fits-all deal. These relationships flesh out the story’s core: that figuring yourself out is rarely a solo journey.
What’s refreshing here is how the novel handles cultural expectations without turning them into caricatures or villains. Leila’s Iranian-American background is portrayed with nuance — it’s a source of pride, confusion, and conflict all at once. The story doesn’t pretend that navigating these waters is easy or that self-acceptance is a linear path. Instead, it captures the push and pull — the moments of doubt, the small victories, and the stubborn hope that maybe, just maybe, you can be true to yourself without losing everything else.
Stylistically, the book strikes a nice balance between humor and heartfelt moments. Farizan’s writing feels authentic — not polished to a glossy sheen but textured with the kind of awkwardness and vulnerability that comes with being a teenager. There’s a bit of that Judy Blume vibe, but with a modern, multicultural twist that feels necessary and overdue.
The pacing isn’t breakneck, and some readers might find parts of the story slow-moving. But that’s kind of the point. Life’s not a Netflix binge. The slow build lets you sit with Leila’s doubts and hopes, making her journey feel lived-in rather than rushed. It’s that patience with character and theme that makes the book linger after you close it.
In the end, “Tell Me Again How a Crush Should Feel” is less about the crush itself and more about what it reveals — about identity, culture, and the messy business of growing up. It’s a rare glimpse into the Iranian-American queer experience in YA literature, and it does so with honesty and heart. If you’re tired of cookie-cutter teen love stories and want something that feels a little more real, this one’s worth your time.
Beyond the summary
If you’re tired of YA novels that treat identity and first love like a checklist to be completed, this book offers a refreshing change. It’s a slow, honest look at how messy and complicated growing up can be when you’re trying to figure out where you fit — in your family, your culture, and your own heart. No neat answers here, just a real human trying to make sense of it all.
Before you commit
Ever tried to figure out what a crush is supposed to feel like when your culture, your family expectations, and your own heart all seem to be speaking different languages? Meet Leila — a high school junior who’s juggling Iranian-American identity, emerging queer feelings, and the chaos of teenage crushes. Spoiler: it’s messy, awkward, and painfully real.
The novel explores the challenging journey of understanding and embracing who you are, especially when your feelings and background pull you in different directions.
Leila’s story highlights the tension between honoring cultural traditions and pursuing personal happiness, showing that this balance is rarely simple or straightforward.
Relationships in the book serve as catalysts for self-discovery, demonstrating that connection with others is key to navigating identity and change.
Leila’s journey shows that understanding who you are isn’t about ticking boxes or fitting neat labels. It’s messy, evolving, and sometimes contradictory — especially when cultural expectations add extra layers of complexity.
The novel explores how cultural heritage can be both a source of strength and a source of conflict. Leila’s Iranian-American background influences her choices and fears, but it doesn’t lock her into a fixed identity.
Leila’s relationships with Lisa and Tomas underscore the importance of having people who listen, challenge, and support you — especially when you’re navigating uncharted emotional territory.
The story resists simplifying a crush into butterflies and instant clarity. Instead, it digs into the uncertainty, the confusion, and the slow realization that love can be complicated, especially when it involves self-discovery.
By centering an Iranian-American queer protagonist, the book fills a gap in YA literature, giving voice to experiences often sidelined or stereotyped. This matters because seeing yourself in stories can be a game-changer.
Leila’s story reminds us that it’s okay not to have all the answers about who you are or what you want. Embrace the confusion as part of growth rather than something to fix immediately.
Whether it’s friends like Lisa or candid peers like Tomas, having people who accept you makes the journey less lonely. Seek out those connections and don’t be afraid to lean on them.
It’s possible to honor your heritage while also carving out your own path. Reflect on which cultural expectations serve you and which feel constraining — and figure out how to balance both.
If you’re craving representation that feels authentic, seek out books like this that portray identity as layered and nuanced. It’s a reminder that your story is valid, even if it doesn’t fit the mainstream mold.
If you’re tired of YA novels that treat identity and first love like a checklist to be completed, this book offers a refreshing change. It’s a slow, honest look at how messy and complicated growing up can be when you’re trying to figure out where you fit — in your family, your culture, and your own heart. No neat answers here, just a real human trying to make sense of it all.
Where to go next
These recommendations serve different purposes: stay with the author, follow the closest idea, find an easier entry, go deeper, or deliberately change perspective.
Strong overlap in themes, life-impact signals, mood, or the questions the books raise.
Gene Luen Yang’s "American Born Chinese" weaves together a mythical Monkey King, a Chinese-American teen struggling to fit in, and a cringe-worthy stereotype come to life. It’s a sharp, clever graphic novel that digs into what identity really means when culture and adolescence collide. Ready for a story that’s equal parts magic, humor, and uncomfortable truths?Read this summary →Deeper diveButtered Side Down: StoriesEdna FerberA thematically related book with a more demanding difficulty rating when you want to push beyond the current read.
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The Scholomance is a magical school where surviving the curriculum is a matter of life and death, not just grades. Galadriel "El" Higgins navigates this deadly environment with a mix of snark, power, and a deep fear of becoming something darker. In this world, alliances are fragile, and trust is a dangerous gamble.Read this summary →Also worth exploringThe Poet PrinceTariq MehmoodRelated through the themes, questions, or life-impact signals surrounding this book.
Ever had that moment when you realize your own name feels like a costume? Meet Kiran — or Karen, depending on who’s looking. She’s stuck between two worlds, neither of which is quite home. If you’ve ever felt like your identity is a messy tug-of-war, this one’s for you.Read this summary →Also worth exploringFish CheeksAmy TanRelated through the themes, questions, or life-impact signals surrounding this book.
Amy Tan’s “Fish Cheeks” zooms in on a painfully awkward Christmas Eve when a Chinese family dinner clashes head-on with teenage crush and cultural embarrassment. It’s a vivid snapshot of feeling caught between two worlds and wishing you could disappear. Who knew food could be so loaded with identity struggles?Read this summary →Continue the journey
The full novel dives deeper into Leila’s internal world, giving you a chance to sit with her doubts, fears, and small moments of courage. It’s not just about the crush; it’s about how that crush forces her to confront everything she’s been avoiding. The subtleties of Farizan’s writing, the cultural details, and the slow-building relationships all add layers that a summary can’t capture. If you want a story that respects the complexity of identity without sugarcoating it, this is the one to pick up.